It’s Sirius

It’s Sirius

The Star

The Brightest

The Rightest

Haven’t you sat in the theater long enough now?

In the dark?

Watcha’ doin

In this real darkness?

Black coffee is my fuel

Full steam ahead

Gentlemen star your engines

Ladies too

The tr(ai)n has left the station

STation to STation


You’ve always known who you are

You just didn’t really know yet, Charlie

And because you didn’t know you were confused and thought you had to make it happen

You were forcing the magic

Which of course is not magic

Instead of letting it happen

Don’t worry about it

Just put your foot on the gas now and do it right at last

Pit stop for more fuel

Previously I had always stopped my investigation too soon

I was so terrified of seeing it for myself

And of having to feel all the grief buried under the rage

I was wrong

I was asleep still

Telling them all I was awake


Putting on a wise man’s mask to cover the fool I was

I only believed before and that is not enough

Completely clueless

An ass

A clown

A clone

Name tagged

They did send a poet



I was crazy before

Not that I’m not now

But before I knew I was not real I was yoked to my mask

I n ever too k it off

I was a fake

A fake fake

We do actually live in a bloody snow globe

I no longer have a bag of tricks

Unmasked I am


For real unreality

This isn’t real and I don’t take any delight in bluntly telling you

I’d rather play the magic game and just put on another show, trick, for you

Just keep pulling rabbits out of my ass til the cows come home

But I am a fake man living in a fake world

It’s Sirius

Not Penny’s Boat

Not Coke

Not Pepsi

Not America

Not Marlboro

Not Cigarettes

Not Coffee

Not Holly Wood

Not Whole World

Not Life

It’s Sirius

Siri us



I didn’t realize I had to go track by track to get there

I jumped the gun

Called off the investigation too early

Television rotted my br(ai)n

I was Lost

Amnesiac sleeper posing as an Awakened one

I’m just a guy

That’s my mask

I wear it well and I always have

But right now

It’s off and I’m telling it like it is


This is not Real



I’m not the ocean

I’m not REality

I’m not Her

Dick’s Closure Dream door

I didn’t know for sure that Fat’s not crazy

Like Jacob in formed him in the cab with the guitar

I’m not TIME

Not Rhyme

Not Crime

Not Truth

Not Justice

Not Anyone’s Way

It’s Sirius

I watched so my TV

My brain rotted

The bug got in

From the air



The bug in almost everyone today

The bug of closure- of wrapping up the case- case closed- open and shut case

It’s Not Black and White

IT’s not It

It’s not you

Here’s my Fading Yellow Fake Fate Face Card

The Snow that Streamed down all day yesterday

Like Matrix r(ai)n

Was not only not real – it’s a fake fake

Natural is not natural

Artificial is not artificial

The two eyeballs see nothing at all

The one eye within sees everything

And you are afraid of it and me for a reason

You were programmed to fear me

So that you don’t even begin to consider switching tracks

Getting up from the couch glued to the fake flat scream dream machine

KNowing for real the difference between real and fake- true and false- and finally being really happy and alive- awake- Not alsleep anymore-

Please don’t take this the wrong way, person-al-ly

Judging by the mask, the shell of appearance, which is most

Ass ur ed ly

Not real, for real

Afraid of me so you won’t come with me

And Walk With me through the Fire

To the Top of Mount Weather

Joining Us in The Real World – The Dharma Initiative – where we know- We don’t believe

For there is really no thing to believe after all

None of this is real

We are living in a bloody snow globe

What did the Snow Man Say?

What did Jack do?

The Wolf Man is Not Real

And neither are You

We Live in side a Dream

A Sirius Show

Satellite Network

VALIS for real

Dick wasn’t crazy

Nor was Fat

I wasn’t sure before

Now I am

Even though there’s nothing to be sure of anymore- never was


I have a documentary to finish watching now

I thought I had seen it before yesterday, but

I was only dreaming I had

Why do my eyes hurt?

Because you’ve never used them before

You think that’s (ai)r you’re breathing



Good Mourning

I never knew what that mean before


I love you so much

Beyond measure

I never knew this ache

I was looking the other way

As I was programmed by the

Tell a vision

I never was permitted to have my own vision

Not once ever

Not until now

Would I have gone all the way if I knew how much p(ai)n there was



Would I have started the quest ion still?

Would the tr(ai)n ever have left the station?

That poor guy who was sitting in the dark cave of the theater

Al l those days and all that confusion

All that fear

All that doubt

It killed me

I’m dead


Hanging on the tree

Hung out to try

On th elin e

So lost finally that I

Am being found and it makes me so happ y

I never thought sorrow was this serious

I never saw how I was showin g the whites of my eyes

All my daze

I was so con fused

I was such a con artist

A fake artist

I want ed to be real so bad

That I watched endlessly the productions of real artists

Believing that if I watched enough of the real artists’ real works

I would be one too

But I had no idea

How Sirius this is

Would I have left hom e still if i had known it would take me here?

To the point at which I realize the charade I was putting on all my life

With such stark clarity

That I would be brutally murdered- psychologically- emotionally- hacked to pieces- butchered- murdered- by God, by Truth, by You?

Would I still have left the station?

Would I still have crossed the threshold if I had truly grasped where it would lead?

Do I really want to lead others to this?

This ‘truth?’

This ‘Real World?’

It’s so bare and stripped down, no fancy set design anymore, no more

Fancy costumes

No more magic

Just pl(ai)n old ‘reality’

The desert of the real

I have to sit here now for the rest of my daze

Knowing what a craze I have come out of and what most still are in

The madness of it

Th e

Fear Bug

Is Real

Bob is Real


That Thing is




You were right, Jaya Deva, of course, I had to go off the page, out of the box, and I have you to thank for pushing me, giving me the push I needed.

Thanks a fucking lot, dude.

Now I’m dead.

You fucking killed me.

Thank YOu!

Oh God, Thank God, I’m finally dead!

Being alive was no thing but a weight

An artifi(cia)l anchor

All I’ve ever really had to do is meet you

In the Mid


Word or PhraseEnglish OrdinalFull ReductionReverse OrdinalReverse Full ReductionI Am You R . . .102398742Luke49135923Look53175519Morpheus1154310138Metaphor964212039Metamorphosis1716318072Bug30125115Fear30217824Big18186318

About kylegrant76

Eye am that Eye am
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s