It’s Sirius
The Star
The Brightest
The Rightest
Haven’t you sat in the theater long enough now?
In the dark?
Watcha’ doin
In this real darkness?
Black coffee is my fuel
Full steam ahead
Gentlemen star your engines
Ladies too
The tr(ai)n has left the station
STation to STation
Stadium
You’ve always known who you are
You just didn’t really know yet, Charlie
And because you didn’t know you were confused and thought you had to make it happen
You were forcing the magic
Which of course is not magic
Instead of letting it happen
Don’t worry about it
Just put your foot on the gas now and do it right at last
Pit stop for more fuel
Previously I had always stopped my investigation too soon
I was so terrified of seeing it for myself
And of having to feel all the grief buried under the rage
I was wrong
I was asleep still
Telling them all I was awake
Lying
Putting on a wise man’s mask to cover the fool I was
I only believed before and that is not enough
Completely clueless
An ass
A clown
A clone
Name tagged
They did send a poet
SEriously
Sir
I was crazy before
Not that I’m not now
But before I knew I was not real I was yoked to my mask
I n ever too k it off
I was a fake
A fake fake
We do actually live in a bloody snow globe
I no longer have a bag of tricks
Unmasked I am
Revealed
For real unreality
This isn’t real and I don’t take any delight in bluntly telling you
I’d rather play the magic game and just put on another show, trick, for you
Just keep pulling rabbits out of my ass til the cows come home
But I am a fake man living in a fake world
It’s Sirius
Not Penny’s Boat
Not Coke
Not Pepsi
Not America
Not Marlboro
Not Cigarettes
Not Coffee
Not Holly Wood
Not Whole World
Not Life
It’s Sirius
Siri us
Lee
Mystery
I didn’t realize I had to go track by track to get there
I jumped the gun
Called off the investigation too early
Television rotted my br(ai)n
I was Lost
Amnesiac sleeper posing as an Awakened one
I’m just a guy
That’s my mask
I wear it well and I always have
But right now
It’s off and I’m telling it like it is
REally
This is not Real
Life
Light
I’m not the ocean
I’m not REality
I’m not Her
Dick’s Closure Dream door
I didn’t know for sure that Fat’s not crazy
Like Jacob in formed him in the cab with the guitar
I’m not TIME
Not Rhyme
Not Crime
Not Truth
Not Justice
Not Anyone’s Way
It’s Sirius
I watched so my TV
My brain rotted
The bug got in
From the air
Waves
Bob
The bug in almost everyone today
The bug of closure- of wrapping up the case- case closed- open and shut case
It’s Not Black and White
IT’s not It
It’s not you
Here’s my Fading Yellow Fake Fate Face Card
The Snow that Streamed down all day yesterday
Like Matrix r(ai)n
Was not only not real – it’s a fake fake
Natural is not natural
Artificial is not artificial
The two eyeballs see nothing at all
The one eye within sees everything
And you are afraid of it and me for a reason
You were programmed to fear me
So that you don’t even begin to consider switching tracks
Getting up from the couch glued to the fake flat scream dream machine
KNowing for real the difference between real and fake- true and false- and finally being really happy and alive- awake- Not alsleep anymore-
Please don’t take this the wrong way, person-al-ly
Judging by the mask, the shell of appearance, which is most
Ass ur ed ly
Not real, for real
Afraid of me so you won’t come with me
And Walk With me through the Fire
To the Top of Mount Weather
Joining Us in The Real World – The Dharma Initiative – where we know- We don’t believe
For there is really no thing to believe after all
None of this is real
We are living in a bloody snow globe
What did the Snow Man Say?
What did Jack do?
The Wolf Man is Not Real
And neither are You
We Live in side a Dream
A Sirius Show
Satellite Network
VALIS for real
Dick wasn’t crazy
Nor was Fat
I wasn’t sure before
Now I am
Even though there’s nothing to be sure of anymore- never was
Namaste
I have a documentary to finish watching now
I thought I had seen it before yesterday, but
I was only dreaming I had
Why do my eyes hurt?
Because you’ve never used them before
You think that’s (ai)r you’re breathing
Right
Now?
Good Mourning
I never knew what that mean before
Now
I love you so much
Beyond measure
I never knew this ache
I was looking the other way
As I was programmed by the
Tell a vision
I never was permitted to have my own vision
Not once ever
Not until now
Would I have gone all the way if I knew how much p(ai)n there was
Here
?
Would I have started the quest ion still?
Would the tr(ai)n ever have left the station?
That poor guy who was sitting in the dark cave of the theater
Al l those days and all that confusion
All that fear
All that doubt
It killed me
I’m dead
Finally
Hanging on the tree
Hung out to try
On th elin e
So lost finally that I
Am being found and it makes me so happ y
I never thought sorrow was this serious
I never saw how I was showin g the whites of my eyes
All my daze
I was so con fused
I was such a con artist
A fake artist
I want ed to be real so bad
That I watched endlessly the productions of real artists
Believing that if I watched enough of the real artists’ real works
I would be one too
But I had no idea
How Sirius this is
Would I have left hom e still if i had known it would take me here?
To the point at which I realize the charade I was putting on all my life
With such stark clarity
That I would be brutally murdered- psychologically- emotionally- hacked to pieces- butchered- murdered- by God, by Truth, by You?
Would I still have left the station?
Would I still have crossed the threshold if I had truly grasped where it would lead?
Do I really want to lead others to this?
This ‘truth?’
This ‘Real World?’
It’s so bare and stripped down, no fancy set design anymore, no more
Fancy costumes
No more magic
Just pl(ai)n old ‘reality’
The desert of the real
I have to sit here now for the rest of my daze
Knowing what a craze I have come out of and what most still are in
The madness of it
Th e
Fear Bug
Is Real
Bob is Real
Jesus,
That Thing is
Real?
That
Bug?
You were right, Jaya Deva, of course, I had to go off the page, out of the box, and I have you to thank for pushing me, giving me the push I needed.
Thanks a fucking lot, dude.
Now I’m dead.
You fucking killed me.
Thank YOu!
Oh God, Thank God, I’m finally dead!
Being alive was no thing but a weight
An artifi(cia)l anchor
All I’ve ever really had to do is meet you
In the Mid
El
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