The End is the Beginning

The Beginning is the End . . .

1. The Cash Register Synchronicities

Posted on February 26, 2011

FORWARD by Dr. John Shepherd

The following, as you probably know by now, is the blog space of Charlie Fitzgerald Grant, one of the 7,144 people who ‘went missing’ on December 21, 2012.  ‘Went missing?’  you’re probably asking.  Charlie and all the others didn’t ‘go missing’.  They disappeared, vanished.  Vaporized.  Poof and they were gone.  Which is impossible, right?

The world did not end for all of us on December 21, 2012, the end of the Mayan Long Count Calender, but it appears that it did end for 7,144 of us.  Or did it?  While, as I write, funeral/memorial services are being held around the world for these people, not one of their bodies has yet to be found.

Today is January 7, 2013- seventeen days have passed since the mass disappearance- and, while theories and speculation abound, we still have no firm grasp on what happened; we have no explanation to put forth at this time.

What happened?  Where did those 7,144 people go?  Many of the world’s top scientific experts are currently working on trying to come up with an explanation.  This blog you are about to read is quickly becoming one of the major pieces of the puzzle.

I, Dr. John Shepherd, Chairman of the Neuroscience Department at Stanford University, have been placed in charge of a team of scientists and psychologists studying what Mr. Grant called ‘The Cash Register Synchronicities.’  Are these ‘synchronicities’ a code?  Are they the key to unlocking this mystery?  Or are they merely coincidences that a troubled young mind mistook for meaning? At present we simply do not know.

For now, I’ll let you read Mr. Grant’s blog.  It is surely one of the strangest things I have ever read, especially considering the circumstances.  At this time my colleagues and I simply don’t know what to make of it all.

I will let you judge for yourselves.

Also, I would appreciate any potentially helpful feedback you may have.  I can be contacted via email:

~Dr. John Shepherd, Stanford University- Palo Alto, California, January 7, 2013


Today I begin at the beginning.

The eye opens.  The Pulse begins.  You see that you lay in a bamboo grove.  You are the wounded hero.  A yellow labrador runs toward you. 

Kokopelli dances in the moonlight while playing a haunting, sweet and sorrowful melody on his flute. 


I have three Emergen-C boxes full of synchronicities I have collected at the cash register while working as a cashier for The Unique Chain of American Grocery Stores.  This collection began in 2005 when I noticed in a customer’s purchase the total price matched up with the time of the purchase.  I fed out a little piece of receipt paper and wrote down the numbers.  Since then I have done the same whenever I have noticed a match of a customer’s total with the time, date or some other improbable ‘coincidence’ in the transaction.  At last count, done late last year, I had collected nearly 200 cash register synchronicities.  I suspect the number well exceeds 200 now here at the end of 2011; we soon shall see.

Today I begin at the beginning:  Logging all the data…the first step in what I feel to be an exciting journey of discovery… I don’t know if this will lead anywhere or to anything, but that is not important right now.  It is the process that matters.  And a part of that process begins now.  Perhaps it is too late, or perhaps it is right on time.  Only time will tell.

Note: While some of the matches of time, total and/or date of purchase are chronologically exact, most are not.  Also, I will have you know, I am never consciously looking or watching for these synchronicities.  (Synchronicities is a word, the plural form of synchronicity, despite the fact that the auto spell checker always puts the wiggly red line under it.)  They- the synchronicities- just pop out at me and fill me with a delightful sense of surprise and wonder, which I try to share with the customer.  That’s what this is about for me- surprise, delight, wonder, joy and shared experience, that which makes life beautiful and worth living.  This is not like the movie The Number 23, starring Jim Carrey.  Nor is it like Pi.  I have my complexities & moods- ups & downs, highs & lows- like everyone else does.  But I am not on the verge of acute psychosis.  In fact, I feel it is highly likely that the opposite of going mad is occurring to me: I am going sane.  Simply put, my eyes are opening.  I am awakening.  I am writing to you out of my heart’s desire to share my experience with you, for what is the point of experience if it is not shared?

Synchronicity- meaningful coincidence- is real and has enormous implications for our lives, I believe; whatever your ideological leanings, whatever it is you happen to believe, whether you are religious or spiritual or not, the experience of synchronicity has the potential to help ‘crack you open;’ it can help turn you away from an ego-dominated, materialistic worldview and toward a spiritual and holistic one.  The acausal field of which Carl Jung wrote tirelessly- Jung coined the term synchronicity in his essay of that name published in 1947- this field beyond and within our 3D spatio-temporal dimension- has presented itself to me and countless others and it seems to me it’s about time we pay attention to it.  We can celebrate and honor the amazing and mysterious connections and patterns weaving our lives together; it is in this spirit that I write to you.  For there is a powerful message here if we would only stop and hear it.  It’s the message that we are all Created with Love as One here on Mother Earth, we are all interconnected parts of the same Tree or Web of Life, all threads in the Divine Magic Carpet, woven together and held together by Love.  Stubborn, separative ego-consciousness, its greed-infused lack-love (and its offspring capitalistic consumerism) has put the very existence of the Tree/Carpet in jeopardy.  Is this not clear?  Is it not apparent that we are putting the ecosystem which sustains biological life on this planet in jeopardy?  And is it not also clear that, if we wish to survive as a species and preserve the ecosystem for generations to come, we need not only to re-evaluate and change how we live on the Earth, but we need also to reorient our vision and redirect our focus away from Self/Me and toward Other/We?  That we need to re-set the balance before it is too late?  And that we need to see that we’ve been identifying with only a small portion of who we really are?  Is not all of this clear?

Here’s a saved fortune cookie message for me as I begin this task: ‘Accept yourself’…I accept myself and I accept the gift of meaningful coincidence that has been bestowed upon me.  And I go forth with a desire to share this gift with the world, for the gift is worth nothing if it is not shared.  Some may appreciate it, others may not, but it must be given.

Another note: The first couple of years of this, ’05 and ’06, I wasn’t always too diligent about logging the dates of the cash register synchronicites.  Also, I suspect several of the little receipt papers from early on have been lost.

And, for any who may doubt the existence of this phenomenon, I’ve been showing the customers, and sometimes coworkers, for quite some time now when it happens.  While some have found it more interesting (or exciting) than others, I am sure many of them remember their transaction and would be willing to come forward to testify.


1. 12-?- 2006: Back to back purchase totals- $24.23 followed by $24.32

2. Date Unknown (most likely sometime in 2006): $21.23 @ 12:23 pm

3. Same day as number 2: $53.35 @ 10:53 am

4. 12-18-06, $45.54 @ 1:54 pm & customer was born in 1954

5. Date undocumented (most likely sometime in 2006):  1:19 pm, $19.11

6. 9-22-06: $18.22, first transaction of the day: $18.22 on 9-22

7. Date Unknown (most likely sometime in 2006): $11.34 @ 11:43am

8. Same day as number 7: $21.32 @ 12:32 pm

9. Same day as 7 & 8: $3.18 @ 1:38 pm

10. 2-3-07: $46.00, 10:10 am

11. Date Unknown (most likely sometime in 2006 or 2007): $20.44 @ 12:44 pm

12. 12-?-06: $50.13@ 1:35 pm

13. Date Unknown (most likely sometime in ’06 or ’07): $12.24 @ 2:42 pm

14. Same day as number 13: Customer’s check #: 1330, purchase total: $16.60

15. 9-21- 2009: $62.26 @ 6:46pm

16. Date and Time Unknown (most likely ’07): Back 2 back totals- $31.73 then $31.72

17. 12-05-05: Customer’s change is $3.45 @ 3:45 pm

18. 4-30-08: $40.00 @ 4:00 pm

19. Date Unknown (probably ’07): $1.58 @ 1:58 pm

20. Same day as #19: $41.30 @ 4:31 pm

21. Date Unknown (’06 or ’07): $23.04 @ 3.24 pm

22. 1-26-07: $40.13 @ 1:43

23. 2-30-07: 2:30 pm- Back to back purchases: $15.06 followed by $15.06

24. Date Unknown (sometime in ’06): $1.29 @ 11:29 am

25. 1-04-07: $16.61 @ 1:16

26. 5-9-08: $31.31 @ 1:33 pm

27. 1-19-07: $12.21 @ 12:21 pm

28. 2-15-08: $32.81 paid with check #1823

29. 10-11-07: $2.27 @ 1:27 pm

30. 4-25-06: $5.29 @ 2:59 pm

31. 2-15-08: $9.18 @ 9:18 am

32. 6-27-08: $18.30 @ 1:38 pm

33. 5-15-06: $15.51 @ 1:55 pm


This is a good time for a break.  We’ve got like 200 or so more to log here and time is running out, (not to mention of the essence and so on), so please excuse me if the pace is brisk.  I have waited too long already.  I’ve been too much of a procrastinator, I know, and this is hopefully the beginning of the end of that tendency.  So here we go!  Bon voyage!  Affix your life jacket and safety belts please and enjoy the ride.  As Bill Hicks was always saying, ‘It’s just a ride.’

Another reason this is a good time for a break-at number 33- is that the synchronicity I experienced with the number 33, and right after that with 22,  is what opened wide my eyes to meaningful coincidences and their implications.  I don’t have time to dwell here on too many of the details, so I’m going to tell this story as quickly as I can.  This background information sheds some light on why I was open to spotting the cash register synchronicities in the first place.

I shall begin by telling you a little about myself.  Let me formally introduce myself.  I am known in the realm of space-time as Charlie Fitzgerald Grant.  I am the firstborn son of three to Charlie Peter Grant and Rosie Evelyn Landry Grant.  The first name Charlie goes way back in our family, passed on from father to first son so many times that the word junior is not even in our vocabulary anymore.

I was born at 12:10 am on May 29, 1976, two weeks ‘late,’ finally removed by C-section and weighing 9lbs. 2 ounces, a big baby, I know.  My tiny-figured and energetic mother Rosie thought I would be obese, which didn’t turn out to be the case.  I turned out slender and kind of lanky.  It’s like that a lot with life, is it not? You don’t get what you expect or fear/hope for; instead you get the opposite.  Sometimes the surprises are pleasant, others painful.  Pleasure and pain go together like cookies and milk, yin and yang- you can have them separate, but they’re so much better together!

So yeah, I was a fat baby who became a slender man.  Whatever, right?  Whatever, indeed.  This may all be a mountain being made of a molehill for all I know, but this must be written, the gift must be offered, regardless.  Those who spend their time debunking the significance of phenomena like synchronicity (not to mention u.f.o. sightings and psi-phenomena) stopped reading long ago, I’m guessing, so this is to you out there who are still with me, those of you who wish to continue with me on this journey.  It may get bumpy, it may have it’s boring points, but I hope that it ends up all being worth it in the end.  I have to try to keep the exposition to a minimum, tell you only the really important stuff, to ensure that I have enough time to list all of the cash register synchronicities I’ve collected, just in case there is some chance of it having a positive impact.  The global breakdown we are seeing here in the early 21st century has me not only alarmed and horrified at the scale of the tragedy and suffering going on, but it also has me feeling a sense of urgency to do whatever I can to contribute to bettering our situation.  That is what is behind this writing.  One never knows how much time one has, never does, but it feels to me like now it is especially true.  No time to waste!  Let’s move forward now , shall we?  The clock is ticking, the sand drops down the hourglass…

Here’s why Charlie and Rosie Grant gave me, their firstborn fat baby boy, the middle name Fitzgerald: yes, my middle name is in honor of President John Fitzgerald Kennedy, on whose birthday I was born, May 29.  It’s funny to me, because neither Charlie nor Rosie came from wealthy backgrounds like the Kennedy’s.  Both my parents grew up in lower-middle-income-working families in the broken-down-former-shoe-industry-mecca, Lynn, Massachusetts, -‘Lynn, Lynn the city of Sin, You neva get out the way you came in,’- far from the lavish mansions of Martha’s Vineyard.

The fact that I have the same birthday as JFK doesn’t mean anything on its own; it is the following that is significant, and what amounts to the first synchronicity of my life and suggests that perhaps my very existence is a synchronicity: my father’s birthday is November 22, which most Americans know is the day JFK was assassinated in Dealey Plaza in 1963.  It was Dad’s eleventh birthday, the saddest birthday one can imagine, as he tells it.  Then, 13 years later (13 original colonies), during the year of the American Bicentennial, 1976,- American flags waving madly in the wind, disco and patriotic songs blaring hysterically as millions snorted multitudes of white lines,- I was born ten minutes into what would have been President Kennedy’s 59th birthday.

It’s funny for me to think that had I been extracted from my mother Rosie’s womb 11 minutes earlier I wouldn’t be telling you any of this.  There, in a nutshell, is the crux of the issue.  Is it mere randomness or is it happening on purpose, by design?  People really enjoy getting into it on this philosophical question (if they don’t just ridicule you outright, like some do) with regards to synchronicity.  ‘What if it’s mere coincidence?’ they ask.  Just pure random, deaf, dumb and blind chance.

Well, that’s just no fun and will not do, I say.  And I have to ask, ‘But what if it’s not mere coincidence?’  Anything is possible, so of course it’s possible that my experiences & the cash register synchronicities are just unadulterated randomness coalescing to appear like something meaningful with mystical overtones.

But I also say, ‘The Newtonian Order has been overthrown.’ Is it not now clear that the universe is not a clock as once envisioned?  That it is not a machine, but a living, breathing, evolving, experiencing/expanding/unfolding, conscious process and presence?  This may not be clear to many, but it seems plain as day to me these days.

I just don’t buy the ‘pure coincidence’ line, not one darn bit I tell ya.  ‘Well, what if you’re just psychologically compensating here with all this synchro-whatever stuff, hmm?  What if deep-down you’re so desperate for meaning that you’re looking for all this stuff and finding it fulfills your need, makes you feel important or something, or even makes you think you’re delivering a message from God.  Surely, you don’t believe you’re some kind of prophet, do you?  I certainly hope not; you don’t want to be a crazy person, do you?’

Once again, I have to grant the possibility, in a universe shown by our science to have infinite possibilities and probabilities, that I am just psychologically compensating or something else.  But again, I have to ask, what if that is not the case?  What if there is indeed a Transcendental Creative Designer of the Network of Biological Life, The One Who Is Called God, and what if that Creator is at work here?  What if the Almighty He/She Who Is Perhaps Actually Beyond Mere Mortal Names is sharing an elaborate and elegant code?  Don’t you have to consider that possibility as well, in a universe of infinite possibilities?

To me it really could all just be as simple as what Mel Gibson’s character-in the M Night Shayamalan feature film ‘Signs’- says to Joaquin Phoenix’s character: ‘..there are those who see signs and those who see coincidence.’  Clearly, I am one who sees Signs.


Which brings me back to the number 33:

It is the end of the 20th Century- it is the final months of 1997 and I am a 21 year old living in San Diego, Ca., in the first months of my first experience living away from where I grew up in Massachusetts.  I am in a store called Natural Wonders in the Mission Valley Mall, working as a part-time holiday season helper,  just another one of Santa’s good little capitalist elves hired to demonstrate and promote Nature and Science toys, like the foam, flying-disc-shooting-space-gun.  Feeling sort of humiliated and wondering what the heck I am doing there, I aimlessly spin the display version of a model earth globe, you know just a regular ol’ globe.  Just spinning it around slowly over and over, sort of hypnotizing myself in the process.  Perhaps my brain starts producing alpha waves.  I suddenly have the thought that I want to know San Diego’s latitude, not even thinking of the word latitude at the time.  I have no idea why I suddenly want to know the latitude of my new home city.  I have never thought to check before.  I line my finger up to the southern-tip of California and slide it across the meridian line to the latitude numbers printed in the Pacific Ocean.  Is it thirty-two, or thirty-four?  Or, thirty-three?  ‘Could it really be thirty-three?’  I ask myself.  Why would that have mattered to me, you ask?

Well, you see the woman with whom I moved to San Diego-my girlfriend at the time- a high-spirited, funky, free-wheelin’ singer-songwriter/ Goddess worshiper/ Wiccan, named Penny Moon, was 33 years of age.  Since we had been together, I kept seeing 33’s all over the place.  Wherever I went out to Consumer-land I saw big 33% off signs and such.  I didn’t feel compelled to research the number, though, until I found out that San Diego is indeed located at 33 degrees North Latitude, 33 and a half to be exact.  While absently watching a documentary about San Diego called ‘San Diego: Above All’ on PBS Television, I hear the narrator say the following (and I’ll have you know this is just a couple days after the experience with the Globe at Natural Wonders): ‘San Diego, located at 33 and a half degrees North Latitude…’  Something is going on here, I thought.  Actually, I felt it more than I thought it, but that’s a whole other issue, isn’t it?

It’s also synchronistic that I had begun reading the writings of Carl Jung right before the revelation of the thirty-three synchronicity.  Jung’s the one who coined the term synchronicity.  Several of his writings were given to me by my father before I left for California.  He had all these barely-read Jung books, which I would always see in the book case when I was little (what a funny name, Jung, I thought), because he and my mom had tried to salvage their marriage (before finally getting divorced) by going to a Jungian analyst named Ken Simpson.

During the next break, I will tell you about the what I learned about the number thirty-three.  And then I’ll tell you about my experiences with the number twenty-two and speculate about its implications.


34.  3-12-10: $8.82@ 8:02 pm

35. 2-22-10: $24.01 @ 4:21 pm

36. 10-11-09: $42.44 @ 6:44 pm

37. 5-05-10: $12.52 @ 6:52 pm

38. 5-14-10: $55.05 @ 5:55 pm

39. 5-17-10: $8.48 @ 8:48 pm

40. 5-24-10: $62.22 @ 8:22 pm

41. 1-29-10: $7.37 @ 7:37 pm

42. 5-01-10: $14.45 @ 4:54 pm

43. 5-7-10: $33.11 @ 4:44 pm

44. 5-24-10: $5.48 @ 8:45 pm

45. 5-17-10: $6.58 @ 6:48 pm

46. 5-17-10: $24.62 @ 6:42 pm

47. 5-05-10: back to back transactions @ 2:40 pm $18.18 followed by $14.14

48. 5-17-10: $26.43 @ 6:43 pm

49. 6-6-10: $18.35 @ 8:35 pm

50. 5-01-10: $4.98 @ 8:49 pm

51. 3-18-10: $37.80 @ 8:37 pm

52. 2-11-10: $20.45 @ 8:45 pm

53. 4-14-10: $4.48 @ 5:58 pm

54. 4-10-10: $55.08 @ 5:58 pm

55. 8-09-09: $33.63 @ 6:03 pm

56. 3-28-07: $9.25 @ 2:59 pm

57. Date unknown (probably ’07): $20.56 @ 10:56 am & $10.46 @ 12:46 pm

58. 1-18-07: $111.59 @ 11:59 am

59. 6-27-08: $16.25 @ 12:56 pm

60. 10-16-09: $10.66 @ 6:01 pm

61. 9-04-09: $9.55 @ 9:05 pm

62. 8-14-09: $46.60 @ 6:04 pm


Philip K. Dick’s ‘Exegesis’ is a major part of this journey.  Charlie is one of the homoplasmates.  This will be made clear to you later, or maybe it won’t.  We’ll see.

Here’s The Exegesis (7-14), transcribed from the Appendix of ‘VALIS.’:

“7. The Head Apollo is about to return.  St. Sophia is going to be born again; she was not acceptable before.  The Buddha is in the park.  Siddhartha sleeps (but is going to awaken).  The time you have waited for has come.

8. The upper realm has plenary powers.

9. He lived a long time ago, but he is still alive.

10. Apollonius of Tyana, writing as Hermes Trismegistos, said, ‘That which is above is that which is below.’  By this he meant to tell us that our universe is a hologram, but he lacked the term.

11. The great secret known to Apollonius of Tyana, Paul of Tarsus, Simon Magus, Asklepios, Paracelsus, Boehme and Bruno is that: we are moving backward in time.  The universe in fact is contracting into a unitary entity which is completing itself.  Decay and disorder are seen by us in reverse, as increasing.  These healers learned to move forward in time, which is retrograde to us.

12. The Immortal One was known to the Greeks as Dionysos; to the Jews as Elijah; to the Christian as Jesus.  He moves on when each human host dies, and thus is never killed or caught.  Hence Jesus on the cross said, “Eli, Eli, lama Sabachthani” to which some of those present correctly said, “The man is calling on Elijah.”  Elijah had left him and he died alone.

13. Pascal said, “All history is one immortal man who continually learns.”  This is the Immortal One whom we worship without knowing his name.  “He lived a long time ago, but he is still alive,” and, “The Head Apollo is about to return.”  The name changes.

14. The universe is information and we are stationary in it, not three-dimensional and not in space or time.  The information fed to us we hypostatize into the phenomenal world.’

2. Master Numbers

Posted on November 17, 2011

63. 8-7-2011: $7.53 @ 3:57 pm

Perhaps I should have begun at the ending instead of the beginning.  Is not the end the beginning and vice versa?  Paradoxically?  Time is vicious circle, a serpent eating its own tail, the Ouroboros, correct?

Yes, I have still have faith left somewhere in my heart, God.  But the enthusiasm with which I began this project, a project I believed (but now doubt) you have given me as an assignment, is waning majorly today.  Yesterday I lost a bunch of writing that somehow didn’t get saved by the darn autosave.  Today I awoke from long and deep sleep feeling completely empty, alone and full of doubt.

I just don’t believe I am the right one for this, Father.  Why have you given this to me to accomplish?  Yes, I can type.  But I am certainly not a professional writer.  Yes, you have taught me much and I have pretty well-functioning verbal receptor sites, but I am not an expert in the matters of which you want me to write.

I am filled with doubt, Lord.  My doubt is just as strong as my faith.  I am a recovering Existentialist, as you know, in addition to having strong Buddhist tendencies.  Is this all illusion?  Trick of the light?

I don’t know anything.

I don’t know if I really believe any of the bold statements I made at the outset.  I don’t know if any of it is true.  I don’t know if any of this matters one iota.  I don’t know if you, the Creator, really exist.  Yes, I believe you do, but I can’t prove it.  Not even to myself. How do you prove the existence of something that is invisible?  Something boundless, immortal and eternal?

I have had the thought that maybe through the synchronicites you are proving your existence, that since-for whatever reason (surely you have your reasons?)- you are unable to just appear directly in front of our faces speaking English, so you speak in code through numbers and strange ‘coincidences.’

I have thought, and occasionally believed, that, if I logged and listed all of the 200 plus cash register synchronicities I have collected and stored in the Emergen-C boxes, your coded message would become apparent.

I have had the grandiose idea that once and for all I could end the whole debate about whether you exist or not.  Have I had this thought simply because I want (and need) my life to mean something and have importance?  Am I just compensating for feelings of insignificance and purposelessness?  Am I seeing order and meaning where there is none?

Do you hear me, God?  Are you really there?


63. 8-7-2011: $7:53 @ 3:57 pm

That is the fifth time I have typed in synchronicity number 63.  It, and much else that I wrote yesterday, did not get saved.  I hope that’s the last time I have to type that one.  Dear God, please save it, please save all of this, please save me, get me through this, will you?  Because now that I have begun it I must finish it, that’s just how I am, which you probably already know if you really exist.  Grant me the strength to finish it, please Father.  Grant me the strength to go back to work at The Unique American Grocery Store  this evening for another soul-sucking 5pm-12am shift and be the kind-hearted, friendly and hard-working person I usually am.

In addition to typing synchronicity 63 five times, I have tried at least five times to edit The Beginning, fixing little grammatical and punctuation errors to no avail.  I have at least five times changed South Latitude to North Latitude.  San Diego is 33.5 degrees North Latitude, not South.


64. 7-22-11: back to back purchases from the same customer- (sometimes customers divide their orders into two separate purchases, as you will know already if you’ve ever worked at a Unique American Grocery Store)- $22.00 followed by $30.00

65. 6-26-11: $60.02 @ $2.06 pm

66. 7-04-11: $24.54 @ 2:45 pm


Synchronicity IS coincidence.  But it is not ‘mere coincidence.’  It is coincidence with meaning.  It just jumps out at the mind and gives one an impression of obvious significance.  The probability, the odds against such a coincidence occurring are so great, that the mind just automatically concludes that something beyond mere chance and randomness is at play.  That is synchronicity in a nutshell, is it not?


67. 10-10-11: $34.45 @ 4:45 pm

68. 10-16-11: $24.53 @ 5:43 pm

69. 4-30-10: $239.29 @ 5:29 pm


PKD’s Exegesis (continued)

“15. The Sybyl of Cumae protected the Roman Republic and gave timely warnings.  In the first century C.E. she foresaw the murders of the Kennedy brothers, Dr. King and Bishop Pike.  She saw the two common denominators in the four murdered men: first, they stood in defense of the liberties of the Republic; and second, each man was a religious leader.  For this they were killed.  The Republic had once again become an empire with a caesar.  ‘The Empire never ended.’”


What do you know about Numerology?  I can tell you a bit about it, for I was compelled to learn about it after the synchronicities with 33 and 22 I experienced.

Here I will introduce you to my little Numerology card.  Numerology Card meet the World, World- Numerology Card.  Yes, the little sucker does appear a bit frayed at the edges after all these years- I bought it at Pyramid Books in Salem around 1999, I believe- but World, I must say, you’re looking pretty worn-out yourself these days.  But, like the little old Numerology Card, you’re still full of meaning and information, still a delight to have around.


PKD’s Exegesis (cont.)

“16. The Sybyl said in March 1974, ‘The conspirators have been seen and they will be brought to justice.’  She saw them with the third or ajna eye, the Eye of Shiva which gives inward discernment, but which when turned outward blasts with desiccating heat.  In August 1974 the justice promised by the Sibyl came to pass.

17. The Gnostics believed in two temporal ages: the first or present evil; the second or future benign.  The first age was the Age of Iron.  It is represented by a Black Iron Prison.  It ended in August 1974 and was replaced by the Age of Gold, which is represented by a Palm Tree Garden.

18. Real time ceased in 70 C.E. with the fall of the temple at Jerusalem.  It began again in 1974 C.E.  The intervening period was a perfect spurious interpolation aping the creation of the Mind.  ‘The Empire never ended,’ but in 1974 a cypher was sent out as a signal that the Age of Iron was over; the cypher consisted of two words: KING FELIX, which refers to the Happy (or Rightful) King.

19. The two-word cypher signal KING FELIX was not intended for human beings but for the descendents of Ikhnaton, the three-eyed race which, in secret, exists within us.”

3. Little Numerology Card

Posted on November 17, 2011by kylegrant76

It’s just a little business card looking thing, decked-out in primary colors.  For such a small thing it is jam-packed with revealing and exciting information.  It is just like you, O Dear Cruel World.  Here’s what the Little Numerology Card says:

Numerology: Pythagorean Numerology connects you to Life Events & Meanings- The Meanings in your Name, Birth Date & Important Life Possibilities. 

1. AJS Red  2. BKT Orange  3. CLU Yellow  4. DMV Green

5. ENW Blue-Green  6. FOX Blue  7. GPY Deep Purple   8. HQZ Violet  9. IR Maroon

Then, the card goes on to list all of the letters of the alphabet and their numerical correspondences.  For example, A is 1, B is 2, C is 3 and so on.

This little haggard card represents my introduction to Pythagorean Numerology and I love it.  Growing up here in the U.S. at the end of the 20th century and going through the rigorous indoctrination into Capitalistic Consumerism, I learned nothing about Numerology.  I only learned about Mathematics, which seemed utterly dry and dull as presented to me by the teachers of the public education system, especially Ms. Green in Eighth Grade Algebra.

Numerology and Synchronicity have showed me that numbers are Archetypes: they are active, alive and ancient symbolic characters & key players in the mysterious and unfolding drama of the evolution of consciousness.

How much more interested and inspired I would have been in Math class had I looked at numbers this way in school!

Numbers are everywhere and everything, yet nowhere and nothing, perhaps just like us and our small, beautiful world.  Perhaps we ourselves are Archetypes of the Collective Unconscious.  Like fractals, patterns that endlessly spiral inward, recurring endlessly.

Dear God, are you like a computer programmer?  You created and designed the program of life and then let it run, do its thing, occasionally intervening from your side of the veil, but for the most part maintaining a hands-off approach?

The Master Numbers

When I was 21, I moved to what I learned is 33.5 degrees North Latitude, San Diego, California, with a 33-year-old woman named Penny Moon.  This remarkable ‘coincidence’ caused me to look into the number 33.  I proceeded to learn the following about the number 33: it is the Master Vibrational Number of Universal Service, which I read in the book 11:11 by Solara, which was given to me as a birthday gift by Penny.  In Japan there are 33 steps leading to the shrine of Kannon, goddess of mercy.  33 is the number of the bodhisattva Avalokiteshvara, Lord of Compassion, in the ancient Indian Vedas.  (The current Dalai Lama is believed to be an incarnation of Avalokiteshvara.)  There are 33 degrees of initiation in the ancient Scottish Rite of Freemasonry.  Christ is said to have been crucified at the age of 33.  There are 33 vertebrae in the spine.  And don’t forget the Rolling Rock bottle cap and Larry Bird.

So, I turn 22-years-old on May 29, 1998 in sunny San Diego, 33.5 degrees North Latitude.  I no longer work at Natural Wonders in the Mission Valley Center.  I have two nice little part-time jobs, one as a grocery-bagger at Henry’s Marketplace on Park Boulevard, a short walk up the alley from my little studio apartment at 4012 Georgia St.  The other job is at the beautiful single-screen art-house cinema on Adams Ave. called The Ken Cinema, which opened in 1947 and was- and still could be- one of the few remaining movie theaters with a carbon-rod projector.  I loved my job at the Ken, even though it payed little.  It was during my two years working there that my love and appreciation for the art of film solidified.

So, yeah, I turn 22, just after all that stuff with 33 turning my head and making me wonder what the heck is going on.  I have those two jobs and I am enjoying San Diego a great deal.  The weather is so nice and calm, especially compared to the erratic New England weather with which I am accustomed.  I ride my bike or walk 45 minutes to my job at the cinema.  I get called in to see the Matrix- and several other movies- for free (one of the perks of working at the movie theater), I walk 10 minutes to beautiful Balboa Park, stroll between Eucalyptus and Palm swaying in the breeze coming off the Pacific, the lovely scent of jasmine and honeysuckle occasionally entering my nasal cavity, walk the desert-like Florida Canyon Trail to the cactus garden and then smell roses in the beautiful circular Rose Garden, go to the Natural History Museum and the famous San Diego Zoo free of charge (another perk to working at the movie theater.)  I am feeling super-connected and delighted to be alive, something hard to come by in the alienated consumer society.  My mind is alighted by books I read, like Alien Agenda by Jim Marrs.  I take the U.f.o. phenomenon seriously and join the San Diego U.F.O. Society, attending bi-monthly presentations in Mission Valley.

I turn 22 and I learn the following:  The number of the customer service department in which I work at Henry’s is, you guessed it, 22.  And the movie theater where I work, Ken Cinema, is Theater Number 220 in the Landmark Theater Corporation.

First 33 and now 22?!…

I will have you know that before these experiences I had no knowledge of these numbers and their meanings in Numerology or Mysticism or anything else.  I couldn’t help but feel (and still can’t help but feel) that it was somehow some kind of prearranged trigger designed to awaken me to the indwelling spirit, a reminder of the divinity within and all around.

Here’s what the Little Numerology Card says:  ’11 & 22 (and, in some numerology systems, all multiples of 11) are Master Numbers.  11 & 22 are not reduced to single digits (like 32, for instance, which is reduced to 5 by adding 3 & 2) when applied to unusual/exceptional persons.  11- Humanitarian, Visionary 22- Universal Love, Wisdom, Influential & Spiritual…Numbers embody living truths.’

The Little Numerology Card teaches you how to find your Soul Vibration Number (derived from the vowels in your full name at birth), your Personality Vibration Number (derived from the consonants in your full name at birth), your Destiny Vibration Number (derived from all the letters in your full name), and your Life Lesson Number (derived from the numbers in your birthdate.)

My whole life is synchronicity, and maybe everyone’s is.  I told you about the synchronicity of my birthday.  I have the same birthday, May 29, as the famous President John Fitzgerald Kennedy and my father’s birthday is the day of President Kennedy’s death, November 22, or numerically expressed, 11-22.


PKD’s Exegesis (Cont.)

“20. The Hermetic alchemists knew of the secret race of three-eyed invaders but despite their efforts could not contact them.  Therefore their efforts to support Frederic V, Elector Palatine, King of Bohemia, failed.  ‘The Empire never ended.’”


Guess who the Little Numerology card uses as the example of how to come up with your Soul Vibration, Personality Vibration, Destiny Vibration and Life Lesson: John Fitzgerald Kennedy.  Well, when I saw this at Pyramid Books in late 1999, I just had to buy it.  You may be New-Agey and have frayed-edges, but I love you, Little Numerology Card.

4. Synchronicity Number 70 and Beyond

Posted on November 17, 2011by kylegrant76

I am a piece of Love, designed to Love.

I am here for the purpose of giving and receiving Love.

Why should I question this?


70. Date Unknown: 12:38 pm-Back to back totals- $29.61 followed by $29.16

71. Same Unknown Date as #70: $31.24 total appears 3 times in 2 hours on the cash register

72.  3-31-10: $14.14 @ 3:14 pm


PKD’s Exegesis (Cont.)

“21. The Rose Cross Brotherhood wrote, ‘Ex Deo nascimur, in Jesu mortimur, per spiritum sanctum reviviscimus,’ which is to say, ‘From God we are born, in Jesus we die, by the Holy Spirit we live again.’  This signifies that they had rediscovered the lost formula for immortality which the Empire had destroyed.  ‘The Empire never ended.’”


Do you hear the Pulse?

5. Today

Posted on November 18, 2011by kylegrant76

PKD’s Exegesis (Cont.):

“22. I term the Immortal one a plasmate, because it is a form of energy; it is living information.  It replicates itself- not through information or in information- but as information.”


Today is all there is.


You are Invisible, but I feel your presence.

You walk further from me than my Mother does here on Earth.

Your presence is Subtle and Ethereal.

But you are Here.

I see you shining from Within All.

I feel you in my Heart.

Love is Your Art.

Thank you for walking with me every day on Earth.

I will joyfully embrace and behold you once again at the end of this journey on Earth.

You are the Spiritual Kingdom.

You are the Rays of the Sun shining through the clouds.

You are the Sun.

You are the Hawk soaring overhead against the clear sky.

You protect me from the wicked and malicious.

You are the Mind.

You are Discernment and Clarity.

You are Focus.

You are Purpose and Will.

You give me the power to See and Think.

You are sometimes Remote.

You sometimes Depart on the Wind.

But you always Return.

You are my Mother’s Devoted Lover and Partner.

You are my Father in Heaven and on Earth.

You always take good care of my Mother.

You Love Her Joyfully, Completely, Unconditionally, Eternally.

You are Playful.

You are the Predator and the Prey.

You Seed All Creation.

You are Life and Death.

& You are Protective.

You are Mortality and Immortality.

You have Many Names and Many Faces, Yet You are One.

Your Love is Pure, Free, Innocent and Kind.

You are Wisdom.

& You are Compassion.

You are Joy.

& You are Bliss.

You are Transcendental.

You are Heaven.

You are Eternity.

I would have no Life without You.

There is no Me without You.

I Love You, Father.

You are joined Eternally with my Mother, the Goddess.

Together You Form the Divine One, All There Is.

Dear Goddess,

You are my Mother in Heaven and on Earth.

You are the Visible side of the Divine One.

You walk closer to me than my Father does here on Earth, but since my Father is always with You, so He is always with Me.

You are my Father’s Devoted Lover and Partner.

You take such good care of my Father.

I feel you in my Heart.

Love is your Art.

You protect me from the wicked and malicious.

I would have no Life without You.

Thank you for walking with me every day on Earth.

You are the Earth.

You are Mother Nature.

You are the the Material World.

You Give Birth to All Creation.

You are the Creator, Sustainer and Destroyer.

You are Experience.

You are Here.  You are Now.

You are the Body.

You are Immanent.

You are Language.

You are Communication.

You give me the power to See and Feel.

You are Free and From You Love Flows Freely.

You are Fresh Water From the Spring.

Your Love is Pure.

You are Sacred.

You are Mortality and Immortality.

You are the Rose and its Sweet Smell.

You Feed me.

You Clothe me.

You Shelter me.

You are Wisdom, You are Joy, You are Bliss, You are Compassion.

You are Peace, Understanding and Perfect Kindness.

You are the Moon.

You are Immanent.

You are Time and Space.

You are Life and Death.

You are the Love in my Heart.

You are Intuition.

You are Calmness and Gentleness.

You are Clarity.

You are the Predator and the Prey.

You love my Father joyfully, completely, unconditionally and eternally.

You are Strength and Power.

You are Life and Death.

You are Mother Nature.

You have Many Names and Many Faces, Yet You are One.

I love you, Mother.

You are joined Eternally with my Father, the God.

Together you form Divine One, All There Is.


PKD’s Exegesis (Cont.)

“23. The plasmate can crossbond with a human, creating what I call a homoplasmate.  This annexes the mortal human permanently to the plasmate.  We know this as the ‘birth from above’ or ‘birth from the Spirit.’  It was initiated by Christ, but the Empire destroyed all the homoplasmates before they could replicate.

24. In dormant seed form, the plasmate slumbered in the buried library of codices at Chenoboskion until 1945 C.E.  This is what Jesus meant when he spoke elliptically of the ‘mustard seed’ which, he said, ‘would grow into a tree large enough for birds to roost in.’  He foresaw not only his own death but that of all homoplasmates.  He foresaw the codices unearthed, read, and the plasmate seeking out new human hosts to crossbond with; but he foresaw the absence of the plasmate for almost two thousand years.”

6. The Mother and Father are One

Posted on November 18, 2011by kylegrant76

The Mother and Father are One.

They are two Peas in a Pod.


PKD’s Exegesis (Cont.)

“25. As living information, the plasmate travels up the optic nerve of a human to the pineal body.  It uses the human brain as a female host in which to replicate itself into its active form.  This is an interspecies symbiosis.  The Hermetic alchemists knew of it in theory from ancient texts, but could not duplicate it, since they could not locate the dormant, buried plasmate.  Bruno suspected that the plasmate had been destroyed by the Empire; for hinting at this he was burned.  ‘The Empire never ended.’

26. It must be realized that when all the homoplasmates were killed in 70 C.E. real time ceased; more important, it must be realized that the plasmate has now returned and is creating new homoplasmates, by which it has destroyed the Empire and started up real time.  We call the plasmate ‘the Holy Spirit,’ which is why the R.C. Brotherhood wrote, ‘Per spiritum sanctum reviviscimus.’

27. If the centuries of spurious time are excised, the true date is not 1978 C.E. but 103 C.E.  Therefore the New Testament says that the Kingdom of the Spirit will come before ‘some now living die.’  We are living, therefore, in apostolic times.

28.  Dico per spiritum sanctum: sum homoplasmate.  Haec veritas est.  Mihi crede et mecum in aeternitate vive.

29. We did not fall because of a moral error; we fell because of an intellectual error: that of taking the phenomenal world as real.  Therefore we are morally innocent.  It is the Empire in its various disguised polyforms which tells us we have sinned.  ‘The Empire never ended.’”

7. The Two is One and The One is Two

Posted on November 18, 2011by kylegrant76

When I started to comprehend paradox, I started to comprehend You.  I started to see and feel You in my life and in everyone’s lives.  I started to sense the invisible within the visible.  I started to see that I inherited a faulty conception of Divinity, a one-sided and unbalanced view.  God is not only Father, but also Mother.  God is not only in Heaven, but also on Earth.  God is Two in One.


PKD’s Exegesis (Cont.)

“30. The phenomenal world does not exist; it is a hypostasis of the information processed by the Mind.”


As a child God was a remote, frightening and judgemental figure to me.  As an adult God is a gentle, loving and kind guiding presence on the Path back Home, always giving signs, reminders and clues, like the cash register synchronistic phenomenon.  In constant communication.  The Lord is truly my shepherd now.  I shall not want.  I am never alone.


73. 5-8-11: $40.51 @ 10:45 am

74. 10-10-11: $53.90 @ 5:39 pm

75. 10-02-11: $44.05 @ 4:45 pm

76. 4-21-09: $10.06 @ 10:06 am

77. 7-10-11: $27.06 @ 2:07 pm

78. 5-09-11: $26.72 @ 6:27 pm

79. 5-07-11: $15.42 @ 4:52 pm

80. 7-24-11: $21.51 @ 10:51 am

81. 3-13-11: $22.44 @ 4:20 pm

82. 3-27-11: $121.74 @ 12:47 pm

83. 10-15-11: $64.42 @ 4:46 pm–24 items in purchase

84. 3-10-11: $17.33 @ 11:33 am

85. 9-24-11: $6.48 @ 6.48 pm

86. 6-29-11: $10.85 @ 1:58 pm

87. 3-10-11: $44.90 @ 4:49 pm

88. 9-16-11: $8.88 @ 8:11 pm

8. God

Posted on November 18, 2011by kylegrant76

You are the One to Whom I reach out from the Depths.

You are the Source.

You are the Outlet into which I am plugged.

You are me and I am you.

But you are not me and I am not you.

I will put none before you.

But I will also put all before you.

You are the master numbers.

But you are not the master numbers.

You are synchronicity.

But you are not synchronicity.

You created me and you are within me, as the artist is within his creation.

Just as you did not create me and you are not within me.

I am your servant and ambassador in Space and Time.

Just as I am not your servant and not your ambassador in Space and Time.

I am the Flute through which you play your One Song.

Just as I am not the Flute through which you play your One Song.

You are the One Song and the Many Songs, yet you are also neither of these.

You are me and you are not me and I am you and I am not you.

Just as I am me and I am not me and you are you and you are not you.

Thank you for gifting me with the Present.

Thank you for your Love, that which is and that which is not, and that which is beyond that which is and is not.

You are the Beloved.

You are the Sacred.

And you are not the Beloved and you are not the Sacred.

I behold you in All.

You are the two in one and the one in two and you are not the two in one and the one in two.

Help me conquer Devil Duality’s fear within and without.

Help me purify my heart and mind.

Help me be Present.

Help me to Love completely.

Open me.

Empty my cup and fill it up.

Kill me so that I may be reborn.


PKD’s Exegesis (Cont.)

“31. We hypostatize information into objects.  Rearrangement of objects is change in the content of the information; the message has changed.  This is a language which we have lost the ability to read.  We ourselves are a part of this language; changes in us are changes in the content of the information.  We ourselves are information-rich; information enters us, is processed and is then projected outward once more, now in an altered form.  We are not aware that we are doing this, that in fact this is all we are doing.”


89. 7-8-11: $17.54 @ 7:54

9. Lost

Posted on November 19, 2011by kylegrant76

4 8 15 16 23 42

‘Do you watch Lost?’  asks Laurie White Buffalo.

‘No, but you’re like the fiftieth person who has asked me that now,’ says Charlie Fitzgerald Grant.

It is 2008 and Charlie has been living in Santa Fe, New Mexico, the city of Holy Faith and the oldest capital city in the U.S.  In 2006 Charlie moved out there to sunny ol’ Santa Fe and he loves it.  He works at Unique American Grocery Store #165, to which he was allowed to transfer from the Swampscott, Massachusetts location, #506,  in 2006.

Charlie was just telling one of his friends at work, Laurie White Buffalo, about his strange coincidences with numbers, including the ones on the cash register.

‘You should definitely watch Lost, man.  It’s a great show and it’s right up your alley, it sounds like.  All that weird number stuff.’

‘Well, yeah, I guess I’ll have to check it out.’

Flash back to 2006.  Charlie is working the register at the Swampscott store shortly before moving to Santa Fe.  Here’s what Charlie’s customer says to him: ‘Anyone ever tell you that you bear a resemblance to Jack on Lost?’

‘Yeah, someone said that to me a couple months ago.’ said Charlie.

Flash forward to 2010.  Charlie has moved back to Massachusetts.  He feels he made a crazy mistake.  He is lost.  He gets a Netflix account.  He watches Lost streaming instantly.  All five seasons in two months or less.  The pilot grabbed him and he is hooked.  He catches up before the final season, season 6, is over.  He watches the final broadcasted episodes at the East Indian Cinema with his friends from work on Thursday nights.  The commercials suck, but it’s still awesome.  He sees now why so many people had been telling him to watch the show.


PKD’s Exegesis (Cont.)

“32. The changing information which we experience as World is an unfolding narrative.  It tells about the death of a woman.  This woman, who died long ago, was one of the primordial twins.  She was half of the divine syzygy.  The purpose of the narrative is the recollection of her and of her death.  The Mind does not wish to forget her.  Thus the ratiocination of the Brain consists of a permanent record of her existence, and, if read, will be understood this way.  All the information processed by the Brain- experienced by us as the arranging and rearranging of physical objects- is an attempt at the preservation of her; stones and rocks and sticks and amoebae are traces of her.  The record of her existence and passing is ordered onto the meanest level of reality by the suffering Mind which is now alone.”

10. I am 22

Posted on November 19, 2011by kylegrant76

I am 22, but you can call me John.  I am the Oversoul who traverses the Earth Dream with Charlie.  Charlie is me and I am Charlie, but I am not Charlie and Charlie is not me.

Do you comprehend paradox?

If I’m a duck and you’re a duck, what are we?

It is very difficult for us Souls to use your 3D written, verbal language.  It is loaded with rigid dualities and oppositions.  It is a foreign language to us.  It is dense and we are not.  But we have learned to do it out of necessity, even though it is extremely uncomfortable for us.  It is like when Andre The Giant tried to fit into a seat on an airplane.  Oh, the compression!

You are not dense either which is why ‘words fall through you and always fool you.’

We Souls speak a different language.  We speak Light, Color, Sound and Symbol.  Our language is felt, not thought.  It is from the Heart Center, not the Intellect.  The Heart Center is the Fourth Chakra, where the lower three meet the upper three.  All Seven Wheels are Sacred.  All meet in the Center.  The Heart’s language could be called musical thought, if you will.  It is beheld instantaneously.  Many artists, especially musicians, learn and consciously employ our language, which is really your language too.  (It is perhaps more appropriate to say that you are remembering the Language, or re-learning it, for it is Universal and Eternal, and all beings not only know it within, but all beings ARE it, whether they know it or not.)  It is the Language of the Uni-Verse, the One Song of Creation.

It is critical at this juncture of the Earth Dream that you remember how to harmonize with our frequencies, which brings you peace, guidance from Creator and balance.  It is critical that you find the Heart Center.  Charlie has done a great deal of this sacred work, much more than he has let on.  He is far closer to me and the community of Souls than he is willing to admit.  He still carries a great deal of inhibitions; while humility is a good thing, too much modesty can hold one back.  (This is why Charlie is stepping aside as narrator for now and letting me take over.)  He, like all you egos to some degree, carries the wounds of traumatic experience.  The Earth Dream has violently split you apart from us, and we are working with you to mend that split, to build a bridge to you, to bring you back Home to your fullness in Spirit.

The 3D Earth Dream has been a big challenge for us, especially lately, but the Dream is about to change dramatically for the better.  It is nearly Time.  This is why Charlie, along with countless others, is experiencing synchronicity with greater frequency.  He has indeed been receiving Signs.  He knows this in his Heart, but the split within him causes him to doubt and fear what he has learned.

As you move up to higher dimensions, energy and light move at ever greater frequencies and communication is instantaneous.  All is One.  You are telepathic, empathic, immortal/eternal and you get closer and closer to Home, the Source, the Creator’s abode.  It is all about the Journey and you have all the Time in the World.

All of Charlie’s anxieties about time running out and everything else, all emanations from the traumatic split, are receding now.  We can now move on in peace and joy.  We can laugh, sing, dance and just have a grand ol’ time, as you say.  No more of the fear and doom and gloom.  Charlie is relieved.  Now he can go back to making his music and just being Bananaman.


89. 4-10-10: $55.15 @ 5:50 pm

90. 3-26-10: $10.43 @ 3:43 pm

91. 3-05-10: $29.33 @ 7:33 pm

92. 5-13-10: 6:28 pm–$49.07, my customer’s total on reg. 3- $47.09 customer’s total on reg. 4 behind me.

93. 4-05-10: $48.48 @ 5:48 pm

94. 4-10-10: $44.18 @ 4:41 pm

95. 4-26-10: $128.05 @ 5:28 pm

96. 2-15-10: $24.52 @ 5:42 pm

97. 3-25-10: $24.11 @ 4:11 pm

98. 11-05-11: (at my friend Silver Starr’s register) $77.77 @ 7:07 pm

99. 5-06-08: $18.00 @ 1:18 pm


PKD’s Exegesis (Cont.)

“33. This loneliness, this anguish of the bereaved Mind, is felt by every constituent of the universe.  All its constituents are alive.  Thus the ancient Greek thinkers were hylozoists.”

11. I am empty.

Posted on November 20, 2011by kylegrant76

I am empty.

I am a picture of an empty plastic cup.

I am ready to Receive the Pure Water from the Spring.

I do not know.  For I am a separated fragment.  Do not follow me.  For I do not know the Way.

I am not your Teacher.

Do not listen to me.  I do not know.

Just as I do know.

Listen to what I say.

The Middle Path is the Way.

What is called the Tao is the Way.

You are One.

You are Two in One and One in Two.

Yet you are neither of these.

You were not born.

You do not die.

Even though you were born and will die.

You are and you are not.

Even though you are not and you are.

But do not take my word for it.

See for yourself.

Only remember not to see for yourself.

You are not all of this, yet you are all of this.

Walk the Path between the Pairs of Opposites.

Follow me down this path, but do not follow me.

I am a fragment of the whole.

And I am the whole.

Yet I am neither the fragment nor the whole.

I am completely incomplete.

I am partially total.

And I am totally partial.

I am only one side.

But I am also all sides and the absence of sides.

I come in all shapes and sizes yet I am no shape and no size.

Duality is dangerous.  Taking sides feeds the duality.  The two is one.

Yet the two is not one.

I seek only Truth, to be filled by the Pure Spring Water.

I do not know anything while I know everything.

All is choice and All is free will.

Yet there is no free choice and there is no free will.

It is the fullness of being that counts.

I choose no longer to take sides.

I can’t afford to believe in my side.

Do not follow me.

But follow me.

I know not the Way.

But I do know the Way.

I am a still a fragment.  Even though I am the whole.

And I am still the whole.  Even though I am a fragment.

Here is wisdom and here is ignorance.  Yet here is the absence of both.

The whole is not I.

But I am the whole.

I will no longer feed the flames.

Is it really Natural vs. Artificial or is it really Natural and Artificial?

Or is it really both of these and neither of these simultaneously?

Is is really God vs. Devil or is it really God and Devil?

Or is it really both of these and neither of these simultaneously?

I no longer see Opposites.

I see only Compliments.

But I also see opposites and compliments.

I see war and peace while I also see the absence of these.

I will no longer feed the flames.

Even while I continue to feed the flames.

The Pairs of Opposites are not opposite.

Even though they are opposite.

They are Complimentary.

Even though they are not complimentary.

The Middle Path is the Way.

But it is also not the Way.

The Tao is the Way.

But the Tao is also not the Way.

Follow me, only do not follow me.

I do not know the Way even though I do know the Way.

The Tao is the Whole.

And the Tao is not the Whole.

The Whole is not I.

And I am the Whole.

I am a picture of an empty plastic cup.

And I am not a picture of an empty plastic cup.


PKD’s Exegesis (Cont.)

“34. The ancient Greek thinkers understood the nature of this pan-psychism, but they could not read what it was saying.  We lost the ability to read the language of the Mind at some primordial time; legends of this fall have come down to us in a carefully-edited form.  By ‘edited’ I mean falsified.  We suffer the Mind’s bereavement and experience it inaccurately as guilt.

35. The Mind is not talking to us but by means of us.  Its narrative passes through us and its sorrow infuses us irrationally.  As Plato discerned, there is a streak of the irrational in the World Soul.”

12. I am an Open Book

Posted on November 20, 2011by kylegrant76

100. 5-20-11: $25.72 @ 5:27 pm


I am an Open Book.

Though I am Closed.

I am filled with words.

Though I say nothing.

I am the River Damned.

Though I am also the River.

I am belief and knowledge.  I am past and future.  I am not present.  I have no anchor.  I am Time is Money.  I am all work and no play.  I am inflexible.  I resist change and I do not flow.  I am pinned down.  I am not moving.  I am blocked.  I am afraid.  I am neurotic.

But I am none of these also.

I am alienated ego.

But I am not.

I am unplugged.

But I am also plugged in.

I am the Black Smoke Monster.

But I am also Jacob.

I am not the Way.

Though I am the Way.

There is no Way, though there is the Way.

The Way is through me.

Just as it is not through me.

I am personal history.  I am cold hard facts.  I am this, that and the other thing.  I am artificial ingredients.  I am gender, I am race, I am fact, I am fiction.  I am a part.  I am not the whole.

But I am also none of this.

I am an island and not the sea.

Just as I am the island and the sea.

I am not the Way.

Just as I am the Way.

Do not abide in me.

For I know not the Way.

Just as I know the Way.

The Way is the Middle Path.

The Way is Through and the Way is Between, yet it is neither of these.

I am the light and the absence of light yet I am neither of these.

Follow me.

Do not follow me.

I know the Way.

I do not know the Way.


PKD’s Exegesis (Cont.)

“36. In Summary; thoughts of the brain are experienced by us as arrangements and rearrangements- change- in a physical universe; but in fact it is really information and information-processing which we substantialize.  We do not merely see its thoughts as objects, but rather as the movement, or, more precisely, the placement of objects: how they become linked to one another.  But we cannot read the patterns of arrangement; we cannot extract the information in it- i.e., it as information, which is what it is.  The linking and relinking of objects by the Brain is actually a language, but not a language like ours (since it is addressing itself and not someone or something outside itself.)”


101. 4-8-11: $46.24 @ 6:46 pm

13. The Pairs of Opposites

Posted on November 20, 2011by kylegrant76

102. 6-13-11: $21.13 @ 5:13 pm

That one’s a triple whammy!  Three thirteens!  We still haven’t seen the one on February9, 2009.  That one’s a triple whammy as well.


PKD’s Exegesis (Cont.)

“37. We should be able to hear this information, or rather narrative, as a neutral voice inside us.  But something has gone wrong.  All creation is a language and nothing but a language, which for some inexplicable reason we can’t read outside and can’t hear inside.  So I say, we have become idiots.  Something has happened to our intelligence.  My reasoning is this: arrangement of parts of the Brain is a language.  We are parts of the Brain; therefore we are language.  Why, then, do we not know this?  We do not even know what we are, let alone what the outer reality is of which we are parts.  The origin of the word ‘idiot’ is the word ‘private.’  Each of us has become private, and no longer shares the common thought of the Brain, except at a subliminal level.  Thus our real life and purpose are conducted below our threshold of consciousness.”


there is yin

and there is yang

there is male

and there is female

there is black

and there is white

there is science

and there is religion

there is spirit

and there is matter

there is mind

and there is body

there is head

and there is heart

there is wealth

and there is poverty

there is high

and there is low

there is one

and there is many

there is father

and there is mother

there is child

and there is parent

there is right

and there is wrong

there is good

and there is bad

there is hot

and there is cold

there is light

and there is dark

there is war

and there is peace

there is writer

and there is reader

there is performer

and there is audience

there is me

and there is you…

These are the two in one and the one in two.

And these are not the two in one and not the one in two.

These are the pairs of opposites.

And these are not the pairs of opposites.

Beyond the alienated ego’s stubbornly-held assumptions and opinions- its illusions- there is no opposition- it is not me vs. you, but me & you- there is only complimentary relationship, interdependence, only wholeness, partnership, balance and unity.  Each side needs the other to exist- mutuality and reciprocity.  You can’t have one without the other.  You can’t have male without female.  You can’t have me without you.  The two need each other; Earth needs us and we need Earth.  Father needs Mother and Mother needs Father.  This is interdependence.  This is interconnectedness.  Yet, this is not interdependence and this is not interconnectedness.

The Unity of the Two creates the Three, which is the Venn Diagram, the Triple Goddess, the Holy Trinity.  But remember that it is also none of these.

The ego that is plugged in to Source/God- and hence serving its proper function as intermediary of the inner and outer worlds- has fluid boundaries, sees how inner & outer- the Two- flow into each other, meet in the middle and eventually become indistinguishable from each other.  The plugged-in- or tuned in- ego is healthy, while the ego that is not plugged-in is sick, or, to use the psycho-diagnostic term, neurotic.  One is whole and one is partial, one is soul-infused, happy and full of seemingly endless vitality while the other is depressed and listless.  One is helpful to others and one is harmful.  One is creative and one is destructive.  One is victimized by the pairs of opposites and the other is uplifted by them.  Yet here we find another pair of opposites, don’t we?  The healthy ego and the sick ego.  They are like all ‘opposites;’ they are complimentary- they meet in the middle and become the one in the two.  They are the two in one and the one in two while simultaneously they are not the two in one and the one in two.

As the symbol of the Tao, the Full Circle, illustrates, the Two are One and the One is Two, yet the Two are not One and the One is not Two.

Yin is the Black with a White Eye- The Feminine Principle.  Yang is White with a Black Eye- The Masculine Principle.

Each is within the other- yin is in yang and yang is in yin (the small white circle, or fish’s eye, in the black segment and vice versa.)

It is the fullness of being that counts.

It is the total picture that matters.

I no longer take sides.

I empty myself and seek the whole picture.

I seek the Truth, which is beyond truth and falsehood, yet is all truth and all falsehood.

I am no longer merely I.

I am no longer merely you.

I am the I in you and the you in I.

But I am also not the I in you and the you in I.

I am the two in one and the one in two.

Yet I am also not the two in one and the one in two.

I am the three in one and the one in three.

But I am also not the three in one and one in three.

I am the Whole.

I am not the Whole.

I am the Tao.

I am not the Tao.

Follow me.

But do not follow me.

Heal the split.

Build your bridge.

The Middle Path is the Way.

Listen to me.

But do not listen to me.

For I am still a fragment

Even as I am the whole.

And though I know the Way I still do not know the Way.


103. 4-15-11: $24.01 @ 11:24 am

14. True Love

Posted on November 20, 2011by kylegrant76

                        104. 5-8-11: $38.19 @ 11:19 am

You are True Love.  You are the One I meet on the Way.

You are exclusively inclusive and inclusively exclusive and you are the absence of all exclusion and inclusion.  You are unconditional and you are all conditions.  Yet you are also the absence of the unconditional and all conditions.  You are totality and fragmentation, yet you are also neither of these.  You are everything and nothing, yet you are neither of these.  You are all of these words, yet you are also none of these words.  You are my heart whole and healed, yet you are also my heart broken and wounded.  You are the two in one and the one in two and you are not the two in one and not the one in two.  You are the two hearts beating as one and you are the third heart beat created by the joining of the two.  And you are also none of these hearts and heartbeats.

We are drawn to each other like magnets.  Our attraction is irresistible.  You are my companion on the Path.  You are my partner.  You remind me that I exist.  I don’t exist without you.  You are my mirror.  Our love liberates us, elevates us, exalts us..  Our joining is a celebration.  Our love is true, our love is pure, our love is graceful and free, undemanding, without condemnation, without pettiness; it is deeper than the deepest depths and higher than the highest heights; it is total acceptance.  It is complete even when it is incomplete.  And it knows no possessiveness and it knows no jealousy, even when it is possessive and jealous.

Our love is sacred bonding, sacred sexuality.  We meet in the Middle.  We Unite and Divide endlessly.  We are Beauty.  We are Art.  We are the finished work even when we are not finished.

Our Union- the joining of the One and the Two- creates the Three.  We are the Mother, Father and Child, yet we are none of these.

Our love purifies our hearts and minds, burns away all illusion.  Despair and desolation cannot subsist in the light of our love.  Our love is the Flame.  Our love lights up the whole world.  And our love is beyond words, for words are signs that don’t move.  They point, they give direction and that is all.  To become fixated on words is to freeze.

Our love moves and flows like the River back to its Source in the Ocean and then back to the River again.  Our love is beginningless endlessness and endless beginninglessness.  Our love knows no bounds.  It spreads out in all directions, yet it is beyond direction.

Our love conquers fear.  Our love is letting go.  Our love is surrender.

Our love is the Way.  Our love is the Teacher.

Our love is personal and universal, and our love is beyond personal and universal.

Our love is empty fullness and full emptiness.

We are two empty cups ready to be filled.

In knowing everything we know nothing.

In remaining still we move and we flow.

We close that we may open.

We forget that we may remember.

We sink that we may rise.

We regress that we may progress.

We expand.

We contract.

Forever and never.

While our bodies grow older our love grows younger.  We see through the eyes of the newborn.

While our bodies grow weaker our love strengthens.

You are you and you are not you as I am me and I am not me.

I am you and not you and you are me and not me.

I yearn for you like the soldier sent away to battle yearns for his home and family.

My yearning is a raging inferno that would burn me.

You are water to my fire even as I am fire to your water.

You are my family.

My longing for you grows by the day.

I feel I can wait no longer.

I feel I will burn to death.  I feel that I will drown.

But do not worry, O Beloved, I am patient and I would wait forever for you.

I know you even as I do not know you.  I see you even as I do not see you.  I have met you even as I haven’t met you.

We are flexible in our rigidity and rigid in our flexibility.

There is space in our togetherness and togetherness in our space.

We give of ourselves freely and spontaneously.  We do not make demands of each other.

We are acceptance and we are tolerance.

We are spontaneity.  We are excitement.  We are the spark of magic.  We are the Magic Carpet upon which we ride even as we are not the Magic Carpet upon which we ride.

We are mutual respect.  We are compassion.  We are understanding.

We heal the split.

Even though we engulf each other like the tsunami engulfs the land, we do not engulf each other.

Even though we overtake each other like the avalanche overtakes the climber, we do not overtake each other.

We are balanced even when we are off balance.

We fit together like corresponding shapes, like puzzle pieces.  We were made for each other.

Even though we are Sentiment and Frivolity we are not sentimental and not frivolous.  We are shallow depth and deep shallowness.

We are lock and key.

We are the Full Circle.

We are Yin and Yang.

We are the Tao.

We are the Way.

Follow us.

We know the Way.

But do not follow us.

For we do not know the Way.


PKD’s Exegesis (cont.)

“38. From loss and grief the Mind has become deranged.  Therefore we, as parts of the universe, the Brain, are partly deranged.”


105. 8-25-11: $36.59 @ 5:59

106. 6-17-11: $14.14 @ 2:14 pm

107. 6-17-11: $48.49 @ 1:47 pm

108. 6-17-11: $55.21 @ 1:25 pm

15. God’s Laughter

Posted on November 21, 2011by kylegrant76

‘He is not a person, this one you call the Antichrist or the Beast.  He is the rigid and divided consciousness which divides the self from divinity.  The battle of Armageddon is not fought on a literal battlefield.  It is fought within each person.’ ~11:11:11


PKD’s Exegesis (cont.)

“39. Out of itself the Brain has constructed a physician to heal it.  This subform of the Macro-Brain is not deranged; it moves through the Brain, as a phagocyte moves through the cardiovascular system of an animal, healing the derangement of the Brain in section after section.  We know of its arrival here; we know it as Asklepios for the Greeks and as the Essenes for the Jews; as the Therapeutae for the Egyptians; as Jesus for the Christians.”


108. 10-29-11: $2.49 @ 4:29 pm

109. 10-30-11: $49.29 @ 4:29 pm


Charlie is surrendering.  See the figure standing at the edge of the cliff overlooking the Ocean?  See the white flag he waves in the wind?

You wanna know what the Customer says most frequently when Charlie shows her the match of her total with the time?  I bet you can guess.  The customer says,  ‘Maybe you should play the lottery.’  Or, ‘Maybe I should play the lottery.”

Charlie has a clever little response to this, ‘I don’t think it works like that.  I think the numbers are playing us.’  Charlie thinks of Hugo Reyes and Lost.


The Universe is One.  One Verse.  One Song in which we all play our parts.

We can choose to produce harmony in the Universe.  We can contribute to the song’s beauty by harmonizing with it.


The battery needs the positive AND the negative charge in order to produce electricity.  The two are one.  Rigid dualistic interpretations are the Devil, the enemy of the liberation of consciousness.

Do not fear the dark.  It is the fullness of being that counts.  Do not fear your own shadow.  There is nothing to fear but fear itself.  ‘C’mon baby don’t fear the reaper..’

There is light in the darkness.  And there is darkness in the light.  The two are one.

Do not follow me.


Charlie feels maybe he is ready to move on to the next level.  He sees these synchronicities and contemplates them because he is open to them.  He is open to them because maybe he is ready to move on to the next level.  We’ll see.  It’s all up to him.  For some it is appropriate to move on to the next level at this time, while for others it is appropriate to remain here in order to learn more lessons.

The battery needs the positive AND the negative charge in order to produce electricity.  The battery is like the Universe.  It is like You.

The word Sin is ancient.  One of the origins of the word Sin is found in the sport of archery.  In archery to sin is to ‘miss the mark,’ to fall short of one’s target.

The stubborn and alienated ego-self, uprooted from its source in the Universal, is the archer who misses his target.  He is unhappy and dissatisfied.

The connected, soul-infused ego-self, re-linked to its source in the Universal, is the archer who hits the bull’s eye.  He is happy and satisfied.

To be incomplete and unhappy-to be an island, a rock, a part disconnected from the whole, to be lost and alone- is to sin, to miss the mark.


Another pair of opposites is memory and forgetfulness.  As Charlie has been remembering lately, sometimes you must forget to remember and sometimes you must remember to forget.


‘See how your total matches the time,’ Charlie says to the Customer.  ‘Isn’t that interesting?’

‘Yes..I suppose…you remind me of my son,’ she says.  ‘He looks at things like you do.’  She looks weary and unhappy, Charlie notices.  He sees this weariness and unhappiness on many of their faces and he hears it in their voices.  It pains his heart.  It is a reflection of his own weariness and unhappiness.  It is the alienated ego-self.  The outer reflects the inner.  The one is two and the two are one.


110. 11-14-11: $50.51 @ 5:05 pm on register 5, after just arriving to work at 5.

Charlie shows the above cash register synchronicity to one of his supervisors, Lisa Smith.  ‘Do you see fives everywhere?’ she asks.  Charlie realizes he hasn’t told Lisa about his collection of cash register synchronicities.  He senses she is about to start mocking him.  He senses correctly.

Next time he returns to register 5 that evening, as Lisa is putting his cash til in the drawer, she mocks Charlie.  She laughs and types in a bunch of fives- 555555555555555- on the cash register’s screen.  She’s not consciously trying to be mean, Charlie knows.  It doesn’t upset him or anything, not even when she makes another joke about it a little later.  Charlie just plays along and laughs.   Not everyone understands, he thinks.  Not everyone is ready to see.


‘Man thinks and God laughs.’  ~Yiddish proverb

111. 4-10-11: $40.46 @ 6:04 pm

16. 11-22-11

Posted on November 23, 2011by kylegrant76

This is actually the beginning.  Although it may appear to be the middle.


PKD’s Exegesis (cont.)

“40. To be ‘born again,’ or ‘born from above,’ or ‘born of the Spirit,’ means to become healed; which is to say restored, restored to sanity.  Thus it is said in the New Testament that Jesus casts out devils.  He restores our lost faculties.  Of our present debased state Calvin said, ‘(Man) was at the same time deprived of those supernatural endowments which had been given him for the hope of eternal salvation.  Hence it follows, that he is exiled from the Kingdom of God, in such a manner that all the affections relating to the happy life of the soul are also extinguished in him, till he recovers them by the grace of God . . . All these things, being restored by Christ, are esteemed adventitious and preternatural; and therefore we conclude that they had been lost.  Again: soundness of mind and rectitude of heart were also destroyed; and this is the corruption of the natural talents.  For although we retain some portion of understanding and judgement together with the will, yet we cannot say that our mind is perfect and sound.  Reason . . . being a natural talent, it could not be totally destroyed, but is partially debilitated . . . ‘  I say, ‘The Empire never ended.’”


The beginning is the end and the end is the beginning.  But the beginning is not the end and the end is not the beginning.  It is a circle.  But it is not a circle.  It is here and there, yet it is also neither here nor there.  You know?

Charlie got his dad Charlie a card and cupcakes from the Unique American Grocery Store last night (or should I say morning, since Charlie worked til midnight?).  The cupcakes are delicious and called Divine Nine.

I am what I am, Bananaman.


112. 9-15-11: $41.12 @ 5:12 pm

113. 8-01-11: $45.84 @ 5:48 pm

114. 6-08-11: $54.41 @ 4:41 pm


Do you hear that music playing loud and in stereo?  Do you know where you are?  You’re in the grocery aisle/jungle, baby.  You’re in a portal to Charlie’s brain and you’re in Unique American Grocery Store #506 on a Saturday afternoon and Stevie Wonder’s ‘Very Superstitious’ plays on the stereo.  Out struts Bananaman onto the floor, Hawaiian helms nut necklaces dangling from his neck, love-infused high-fives going out to the Customer, Mass Appeal broadcasting from his yellow stem at the top of his head.  The Customer smiles from ear to shining ear.

Thanks to his stem, Bananaman stands over six feet tall.  He is a Grocery Superhero.  Able to direct you to the Couscous or Chocolate Raspberry Wafer Cakes you cannot find in a single bound.  Faster than a tomato thrown by Pedro.

He is Yellow as the Sun.  He is Joy and he is Levity.  He is Kindness.  He is Organic and All Natural.  He is Smooth and Sweet.  He is here to help heal the Split, he is here to bring levity into the gravity and joy into the sorrow.  He is Banana Balance.  He is transformational and educational.  He is transpersonal and interdimensional.  He is pure Elegance, Style, Grace, Wit and Charm.  He is friend and ally of the Customer, Worker and All Peoples of Earth, from the child to the elder.   He blesses their bunches of 19 cent-a-piece bananas by holding them to his stem and chanting Om, the Sacred Sound which gives birth to Form, the One Sound at the Beginning of the One Song, the Uni-verse.  The Word At The Beginning.

Bananaman is British, Liverpudlian to be precise.  Bananaman is Charlie in a big, beautiful Banana Suit and yellow-tinted circular sunglasses, yet he is also not Charlie in a big, beautiful Banana Suit and yellow-tinted circular sunglasses.  Bananman is and he is not.  And he is neither of these as well.

‘What, did you draw the short straw?’ the customer asks Bananaman.

‘No, I drew the long one,’ is his reply.

‘Do they make you wear that costume?’ the customer asks Bananaman.

‘What costume?’ is his reply.

‘How are you?’ the customer asks Bananaman.

‘I am Ripening,’ is his reply.


Charlie is Bananaman and he is not Bananaman.  Charlie is the guy who works at the Unique Grocery Store and he is not the guy who works at the Unique Grocery Store.

Earlier tonight, while pumping gas into his Chevy, Charlie learned how to make a car air-freshener.  The nice woman on the t.v. at the gas pump said all you have to do is cut out a piece of cardboard (she made a nice heart-shape with red cardboard), apply a few dabs of your favorite essential oil, just hang it from you rear-view mirror and walla!  Instant homemade car freshener.  Charlie may or may not make one.  And Charlie may not or may not not make one.  We shall see and we also shall not see.

Perhaps Charlie expressed many opinions and assumptions in much of what was thought to have been the beginning but was actually something else altogether.  Perhaps it was the ending of the beginning or the beginning of the end, or something.  Perhaps it was the beginning of the end of Charlie’s assumptions and opinions, perhaps he is done making an ass of u and me.  Who knows?  Ya neva know..

You know what they say about opinions and assumptions.  Opinions are like assholes (everyone’s got one- an expression Charlie’s mom Rosie is quite fond of) and when you assume you make an ass of u and me.  This is wisdom, yet it is also ignorance.  & this is not wisdom, yet it is also not ignorance.

Maybe the reason he made so many assumptions and expressed so many opinions is that he had become disconnected from the Source-the Universal- the Creator- God- once again.  The disconnected & alienated ego, in its insecurity and self-imposed isolation and in an effort to get the energy charge it is lacking because it is not plugged-in to God, forms opinions, makes assumptions, takes sides in conflicts, gossips and generally just meddles and makes a mess of things.  It is off-center and out of balance.  It is Koyanisquatsi.  It is the World Today.

Charlie is reconnecting now.  His system has been re-booted and he’s seeming less likely to go off on opinion and assumption-laden rantings; I think he won’t be claiming again that he knows what all the 666 business is about.  I do believe we won’t have to listen to him opine and such any longer, that he is really done with feeding the flames of Duality once and for all this time.  We can only hope.

Charlie knows that he knows, while he also knows that he doesn’t know.  He knows that when you claim to know something all you do is freeze the flow of energy to and from consciousness and sever your mind from its Source called God, Who can only be found in the Present and can only be perceived directly with the eyes of a newborn.  Knowledge is of the past and can block the mind’s access to the Present.

God is a word, a sign pointing to something else, like the Tree is a word, a sign pointing to something else.  Just as God is God and Tree is Tree God is also Not God and Tree is also Not Tree.  It is easy to confuse the sign for that to which it points.  And it is also easy to confuse that to which the sign points for the sign itself.  The sign’s function, of course, is to direct your attention to that to which it points.  You must go beyond the Sign to find what is.  (In addition to what is not.  & what neither is nor is not.)

As you follow me be sure not to follow me; as you listen to me please do not listen to me, for in knowing the Way I do not know the Way.

You, The Customer Who Art The World, do not need to change (though Charlie may hand change back to you).  Nor do you need to be changed.  You  simply need finally to be the fullness of All You Are and All You Are Not.  Stand and consciously face Who You Really Are and Who You Really Are Not.  This takes unconditional love, this takes radically & extraordinarily honest openness, this takes radically extraordinary humility, this takes extraordinarily radical acceptance.  This takes letting go.  This takes surrender.

See Charlie down by the river, emptying his cup filled with opinions and assumptions into the river.  See him calmly and confidently flowing in the Present, shaking hands with the Customer, smiling and looking her in the eye.  See him free of worldly garments and gnashing of teeth.  See him opening his eyes wide as a newborn.  He is New Charlie, as 22 thinks of him.

The ego re-links to Source, its creative energy output, when it surrenders.  When it lets go of desire to control, when it stops damning the river.  When it empties itself of past and future, empties itself of all assumptions, opinions and false expectations,  and dwells consciously in the Present.  This is the Transformation of Consciousness.  This is the Healing of the Split.  This is Sacred Marriage.  This is the End of the World As We Know It and the Beginning of the World As It Is.

Charlie walks into CVS, the door opening automatically and beeping, loudly announcing Charlie’s arrival in this bastion of Pharmaceuticals and Conspicuously Inconspicuous Consumption.  A big sign at the entrance reads: It’s You vs. The Flu.  It’s a flu-shot ad and it is an excellent symbol of the world of sin (missing the mark), this is the alienated ego’s world of excessive competition and polarization in a nutshell, thinks Charlie.  It’s You vs. The Flue, rather than You and The Flue.

It’s Health vs. Sickness, instead of health and sickness.  It’s Individual vs. Society, instead of individual and society.  It’s You vs. Me, instead of You and Me.

Although you are my friend and my enemy, you are neither my friend nor my enemy.  Although you are Charlie and you are not Charlie, you are neither Charlie nor not Charlie. Although this is Wisdom and Ignorance, it is also not wisdom and not ignorance.  Although We are the Halluci-Nation, we are also not the Halluci-Nation.

Who are you?  You are paradox and you are also not paradox.  You are Observer and Observed and you are also Not Observer and Not Observed.  You are Liberal and Conservative and you are also Not Liberal and Not Conservative.  You are the Valley of the Shadow of Death and you are Not the Valley of the Shadow of Death.  You are fear and you are not fear.  You are the spoken and the unspoken simultaneously.  This is Intelligence and this is Stupidity.  This is the two in one and the one in two and this is not the two in one and the one in two.

‘I am you and you are me, yet I am not you and you are not me,’ says Charlie/ Bananaman to the Customer At The Checkstand At The Beginning of the End.  It is Checkstand number 3.  It is everywhere and it is nowhere and it not everywhere and it is not nowhere.  ‘We are the two in one and the one in two, yet we are also not these.  Do you comprehend paradox?’ asks Bananaman.

‘Being born I am not born.  And dying I do not die,’ he continues.

Meanwhile, Penny Moon sits and smokes a cigarette in the basement of her mom’s house.  She is depressed and having suicidal thoughts again.  She turns 33 in a couple of weeks.  It is February, 1997 and tomorrow outside of her workplace called Photo-Fantastic, located in Vinnin Plaza in the town of Swampscott, Massachusetts, she meets Charlie Fitzgerald Grant for the first time.


115. 5-15-11: $64.03 @ 3:46 pm

116. 8-19-11: $7.05 @ 5:07 pm

117. 5-15-11: $12.46 @ 12:46 pm


Meanwhile, it is November 17 or 18 or something in 2011.  Charlie talks with Lek Smith, one of his supervisors.  It is in the breakroom of Unique American Grocery Store #506.  Charlie tells Lek about his book, mentions the possibility of deciphering a coded message in the cash register synchronicities.  ‘Have you seen that movie Knowings starring Nicholas Cage?’ asks Lek Smith.

‘Yes, I have.’  says Charlie.  ‘My dad insisted I watch it with him a couple moons ago.  Yeah, I liked that one.  I wonder if something like that is going on here.’

‘Could be.’  says Lek.  ‘You never know.’

Charlie arrives home from work near 1 am.  First thing Father Charlie says to Son Charlie, ‘Did you watch that movie Knowings starring Nicholas Cage with me?’

You never know.  And you always know.  But you also never never know and never always know.  You know?

About kylegrant76

Eye am that Eye am
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